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Diaries of A River Rat: A Surprise in the Halls

Eli the River Rat: I woke up early today and crawled out of my hole to watch the beautiful sunrise above the trees in the distance. I began to contemplate the meaning of life, as I am prone to do. I thought of the gloriousness of life when you just let it be and let it unfold as it may. You are then allowed to walk through life completely at ease with no threat of unwanted mental or physical strain. Suddenly a clear and obnoxious ring broke through the air like the cry of an extremely sick and dying bird. Ah, it is now that time of year again when humans bring their children for a long period of devotion and servitude. I never have understood why they allow themselves to be trained to a bell; why they scramble wild-eyed into the darkened depths of the brown, brick building at the sound of it. Humans are most irrational mammals, why they do the things they do puzzles me. I am a rat; a calculating and rational creature and yet I devote my life and mind to discover the meaning of the irrationality of human beings. After years of searching I have yet to find any sign of the answer I seek.

Student 14898: It was the first day of school and I was already pretty sure, as I climbed the exhausting double staircase up to Huron’s second floor, that these stairs would be the death of me. I emerged through the doors into a mass of human bodies. I immediately felt my heart speed up and my breathing advance. I was being shoved left, right, left, right. I was sure I’d be trampled; turned into a pulpy mess by my fellow students (or should I call them adversaries?) feet. I was fighting for my life, trying not to drown in the churning waters of the people around me, crashing into me like waves. I was going under; sinking and I gasped one last breath of air and dropped into the watery depths, but something was wrong. I was no longer being crushed. Was I dead? The crowd was dispersing. The Hallelujah Chorus rang through my mind. I was alive.